Religion's Rules Are Not the Same as a Relationship with God
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There’s a common misconception that religion and a relationship with God are synonymous, but as I’ve journeyed deeper into my faith, I’ve come to realize that these two are not the same. Religion often involves a set of rules, rituals, and traditions, but a relationship with God is about something deeper—intimacy, trust, and connection. These two approaches can seem similar, yet one is life-giving and freeing, while the other can feel burdensome and disconnected from the heart of what God truly desires for us.
I grew up surrounded by the idea that in order to please God, I had to follow all the rules. It was about attending church, participating in religious rituals, and doing all the “right” things. I mistakenly believed that if I checked off all these boxes, I was somehow earning my way into God's favor. But this approach left me feeling empty, unfulfilled, and distant from God. It wasn't until I began to understand the difference between merely following religion's rules and having a personal, dynamic relationship with God that my faith truly came alive.
The Burden of Rules Without Relationship
Religion, when reduced to a list of do’s and don’ts, can easily lead us into legalism. Jesus addressed this when He rebuked the Pharisees, the religious leaders of His time. They were meticulous in following the Law, down to the smallest detail, but they missed the heart of it.
Jesus said in Matthew 23:23, “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices—mint, dill, and cumin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law—justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former.”
The Pharisees were fixated on outward observance, but their hearts were far from God. They were following the rules, but they didn’t truly know or reflect the character of the God they claimed to serve. This is what happens when we make religion all about rules—we focus on the external and neglect the internal. It’s easy to appear righteous on the outside while our hearts are untouched by God’s transformative love.
God Desires Relationship, Not Ritual
God’s desire for us is not a relationship based on fear of breaking rules, but one rooted in love. The entire message of the Gospel is about God reaching out to us through Jesus Christ to restore the broken relationship caused by sin.
In Hosea 6:6, God says, “For I desire mercy, not sacrifice, and acknowledgment of God rather than burnt offerings.” This verse reveals the heart of God—He isn’t looking for ritualistic obedience, but for a relationship where we truly know Him. Sacrifices and offerings, which were religious requirements under the Law, were never meant to be an end in themselves. They were supposed to point people to a deeper connection with God, but often the religious leaders and the people of Israel focused on the ritual rather than the relationship.
This is echoed again by Jesus in Matthew 9:13, when He says, “But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’ For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” Jesus was showing that God’s heart is not for empty rituals, but for genuine repentance, mercy, and relationship.
Rules Can’t Save Us—Only Grace Can
One of the most important lessons I’ve learned is that no amount of rule-following can save me. Salvation is not about ticking off religious duties; it’s a gift from God, given freely through His grace. Paul writes in Ephesians 2:8-9, “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast.”
For a long time, I lived as though my salvation was something I had to work for. I thought that if I just followed all the religious rules perfectly, I would somehow earn God’s favor. But that mindset kept me in bondage. It wasn’t until I embraced the truth of grace—that I’m saved not because of what I do but because of what Christ has done for me—that I experienced true freedom.
The problem with focusing on rules is that it shifts our attention away from the finished work of Jesus. We begin to think that we can earn our way to heaven, but Scripture is clear that “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23). No amount of rule-keeping can make up for our sin, and that’s why Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross is so vital. He paid the price for our sins so that we could have a restored relationship with God.
The Freedom of a Relationship with God
One of the most beautiful aspects of having a relationship with God is the freedom it brings. Jesus didn’t come to place us under a new set of religious laws, but to set us free. He says in John 8:36, “So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.”
Living in relationship with God means walking in the freedom of His love and grace. It doesn’t mean we live without boundaries or disregard God’s commandments, but it means that our obedience flows from a place of love, not obligation. Jesus summed up the commandments this way: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments” (Matthew 22:37-40).
When we truly love God and others, we naturally fulfill His commands. Our relationship with God transforms our hearts so that we desire to live in a way that pleases Him, not because we’re trying to earn His favor, but because we’ve already received it.
How Do We Cultivate a Relationship with God?
So, if following religious rules isn’t the path to knowing God, how do we cultivate that relationship? Like any relationship, it requires time, communication, and trust. Here are a few things I’ve found helpful in deepening my connection with God:
Prayer – Prayer is not just about presenting our requests to God, but about developing an ongoing conversation with Him. In 1 Thessalonians 5:17, we’re told to “pray without ceasing.” This means keeping our hearts open to God throughout the day, sharing our thoughts, worries, and joys with Him. Prayer strengthens our relationship with Him.
Reading the Word – The Bible is God’s way of speaking to us, and through it, we come to know His character, His promises, and His will for our lives. Hebrews 4:12 tells us, “For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword.” Regularly reading Scripture helps us understand God’s heart and align our lives with His truth.
Worship – Worship goes beyond singing songs; it’s about surrendering our hearts to God in gratitude and awe. When we worship, we acknowledge who God is and what He has done for us. It reminds us of our need for Him and draws us closer into His presence.
Community – We weren’t meant to walk this journey of faith alone. Hebrews 10:24-25 encourages us to “consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together.” Being part of a faith community helps us stay connected to God and to others, providing support and accountability.
From Rules to Relationship
As I’ve walked through this journey, I’ve come to realize that God is not interested in how perfectly I can follow a set of rules. He’s interested in my heart. He wants to know me, and He wants me to know Him. Religion’s rules can never replace the intimacy, love, and joy that comes from a real relationship with God.
My prayer is that we would all move beyond the confines of religious obligation and step into the freedom of knowing God personally. As Jesus said in John 17:3, “Now this is eternal life: that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent.” This is the heart of our faith—not rules, but relationship.
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